DATE NIGHTS

I believe I read somewhere that it's in year 2, 4, and 7 that most divorces happen...who knows, I can't find it anywhere now and it was probably from an unreliable source anyway. My point is, year 4 was hard for us. I can't exactly point out the reasons because it could have been so many things...the financial changes from the lay-off, 2 kids, Brooke's cyst, all the underlying things we're always dealing with like Jimmy's Crohn's Disease, house and car problems, etc. It's hard work to keep a marriage exciting and full of love, and I guess we just weren't cutting it for each there for awhile. We wanted something to change. So besides just having a general desire to make things different, we decided to start having weekly date nights after the kids go to bed. We play board or video games, watch a movie, get Culvers, cuddle, do the hippity-dippity, etc. We make it a priority (I even shave my legs and usually wear my hair down!). Somehow we never thought before to trade babysitting with my parents so we each can have nights out (DUH!). So once a month, we get some time out to do something fun. Honestly, at first it felt very weird to be out alone with him having nothing to worry about. I've gotten so used to having kids, I forget just how much of a constant "something" kids are...this is the thing people without children just don't get....children take over EVERYTHING in your life, including your thoughts. After a few years of that, it's hard to find that person that used to be there before kids, especially because they never come back all the way (lots of that is good, but still). My kids are little...until they go to bed, I can't go literally more than 2 minutes without thinking about what they are doing or what I need to do for them next. Even when they go to bed, you have to be quiet and we all know that a quiet night's sleep without some kind of interruption is a rarity even when they aren't babies anymore. Anyway, I digress...

My thought was...it felt weird to be alone with James. We kind of had to reform that part of our relationship (the "us" being a separate part of our family). There were so many facets that were just being put on the back burner that I couldn't even begin to explain all the things we have changed and remembered to do. End of story, things for us have never ever been better. The transformation between us and our home life in just 4 or so months has been so surprising to me, and I know that I can say for both of us that in a couple of months, we are going into our 5th year of marriage completely (well at least 95% ;)) satisfied with each other. It's life changing to really really really love someone and have them love you the same way back.