GRANDPA

I've been meaning to post about this. My grandfather, who I mentioned a few posts back had pancreatic cancer, died a couple of weeks ago on June 8th. It was sooner than when the doctors had initially diagnosed, but we all knew it was quickly approaching. He lived long enough to have the "Life Party" he wanted to the Sunday before. He decided to have a big party instead of a funeral after he died. There was a polka band and everything.... good times.

I wish I had been closer to him than I was. He was busy having kids around the same age as myself as I was growing up, and I think by the time a deeper relationship was wanted between us, he didn't really know what to do with me (does that make sense?). He was from a different world to me living on a farm in southwestern Wisconsin, but my grandpa was always there for me. I remember that he was even one of the few people that braved the snow and came to visit us in the hospital when Brooklyn was born.

He was wonderful with the grandchildren. I remember one of the last times Brooke spent with him, she sat on his lap and told him all about her polished toes and how she wants more pink nail polish. She doesn't open up to everyone like that, so it's a touching memory that she saw something in him that she could trust to come out of her shell. His death has been hard on her. She's understood death and how Grandpa Weber (Jimmy's dad) is dead and that we don't see him, but she's never known anyone that has died. One night a few days after he died as she laid in bed before I said goodnight, she started freaking out about how Mommy or Daddy could die. I tried to explain that most people don't die until they are really old, but all that made her do was ask if I was going to be old tomorrow. So sad. The only thing that finally comforted her after a half an hour was that if Mommy and Daddy died someone would call Grandma and Grandpa (Kiederlen) and she would go live with them and her friends (my sisters/her aunts). What a hard concept to learn for a 3 year old. I can't even think about Jimmy or my kids dying without feeling like my heart is wrenching; I avoid any thoughts if possible, so I can only imagine what she was going through realizing all of that for the first time.

Anyway, Grandpa/Great-Grandpa Dave will be missed in many households especially at Christmas time and during Henry Vilas Zoo visits.